Moving people on your mind map
I'm looking for advice on how to maintain or even improve a relationship while moving an individual further out on my self map.
I'm on day 18 of the mind mastery course and doing my best. One of the things that I've noticed is much of my stress is centered around one person who is very important to me. I've come to realize that I may need to move that person out just one or two rings on my map, but I know I need to do that with care for their own well-being. Perhaps the relationship is codependent at this point.
I've examined the situation from the control room quite a bit and considered how things may look from their own control room (though I doubt they have much "access" to it at this point. I believe that I'm on the right path. I'm not necessarily lowering my expectations of our interactions, but I am internally lowering the stakes of them. It's allowed me to have more control of myself when they are having their own emotional experiences, and it's led me to better outcomes day by day.
Does anyone have any experience or advice that may be helpful to continue in this direction while not causing too much distress to the other person?
I also had a similar issue. The person was too close and I needed to move them out further (and perhaps need to move them off at some point). But what I did was actually use my eraser and moved them out to the point on my paper {self} map I desired, even if it wasn't the felt reality at that time. Something shifted for me (Kinda felt like "fake it till you make it"). But I had put the healthy desire solidly in front of me. I do not want to hurt anyone but the mentally healthy choice was to move them out. They would not even be able to understand a conversation about this so no point in discussing. A couple months have gone by and it almost seems like the reality is shifting to the place I want it to be.....just a gradual loosening and drifting. Nothing is "wrong" and no one has been hurt....just life kind of giving distance. Gentle and kind transitions can take time.
