Quote from Bjorn Borg on January 27, 2022, 6:21 pm

Dear MMH Crew,

I really enjoyed Sean's anecdote about how he began to release the stress associated with getting out the door by 7:00am every morning, seeing that this was on his {self} map. Even before hearing this anecdote, I was realizing through the MMH materials that I myself have a rather unhealthy central attachment to time.

However, I felt a certain tension in this anecdote that I want to explore:

Over the past year, I've been in the process of forming new and healthy habits like meditation, regular exercise, cleaning up my apartment every night... even just brushing my teeth regularly. I didn't grow up in an emotionally safe or healthy environment that encouraged these rather basic healthy practices. I believe I found my wife, in part, because we found safe refuge in each other having been raised in similar circumstances.

So over the past year, it has caused conflict at times when she really just wants me to come to bed, and I insist on staying up to ensure the rest of the apartment is clean. Or she will ask to watch TV together, but she'll ask to do so (subconsciously-intentionally, I think?) exactly during times I have allotted to exercise.

I want to think of this as adding healthy things to my {self} map, that haven't been there before. In a sense, I am insisting on creating a new me, a healthier me, by holding fast to these being at the center of {self}, meanwhile removing other externalities that have no place in being on my {self} map. And while its been easier for me to reconcile internally the emotions related to these circumstances through the EoE practices, it does appear to be creating turbulence in my relationship. Any thoughts on navigating this, as, it seems like the same circumstance as Sean's story, but with opposite variables.

Thanks!